Im at strip club and am horny
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
