writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
