so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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