Nicole vs. Life
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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