She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I stole a fireplace last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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