Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
