I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
