im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
