I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
