babies were throwing up all over the place
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize