You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
