i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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