the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
