We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
