Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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