Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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