So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
