is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
