That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
