Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
