dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
