Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
