what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
only if we run a train.
done.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
