The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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