that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
