if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
