Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
