Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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