Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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