eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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