your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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