they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ugly people sure do ruin things
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
