Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
