If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
