When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
