I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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