Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There r osticjed everywhere
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
