she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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