and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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