We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the day after is always just damage control
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
