hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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