hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize