the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
