I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
