"it" just moved
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
