Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
