I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it's great music for shaving your balls
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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