you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
