I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
