Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
