I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
