flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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