Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
