Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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