Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
