it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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