Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
