And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
