You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
