My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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