Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
