I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize