She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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