I am puke
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
