her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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