so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize