a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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