he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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